Valley 2

The Reckoning


I write Sims 3 stories. I rarely reblog things. I like personal text posts - I'm here for friends, not Simbots. I am, according to a friend: sweet, fierce, kind, honest, silly, smart, giving, talented, and a fabulous friend. :)

Yay good self-esteem days!

Do you guys ever have days where you realize “Damn I’m awesome!” and that all the people who rejected you just missed out on a lot of fun and happiness and love and awesomeness?

I hate missing out on fun and happiness and love and awesomeness. That is why I hang out with you guys, because then I never miss out on any of that! :)

» time 3 hours ago   » notes 12
text  non-sims  saviorhide  

chillsimmer replied to your post: Sometimes the darkness and I go ice-sk…

Beautiful <3

Awww, thanks! Because the other day I read a blog about professional publishing, and they were all like “You have to play by the rules of the industry and they want what sells and you will have to make edits that you may not like.”

And then I was rereading that post, and I was like “LOLOLOLOL I don’t have a chance in hell in professional publishing.”

But I’m okay with that, and you guys like it, and that’s what’s important and what makes me happy. :)

» time 15 hours ago   » notes 5
chillsimmer  non-sims  text  reply  saviorhide  
Sometimes the darkness and I go ice-skating.
There are faces under the ice. They are pressed up against it, their noses flattened, their cheeks red. I think they are laughing. I hope so.
The darkness says that they are screaming, but I don&#8217;t care. I say they are laughing, that they are happy and warm and having fun. They like the feel of our skates on their noses. 
I wish I was warm. 
The darkness offers to skate on my nose, but I turn it down.
I wonder where the faces go when the ice melts. Maybe they go to other parts of the world where there is still ice, and they hang out under small ponds there. I wonder if the ice in other places feels different. 
Probably not. Once I touched a pile of snow on a warm day to see what it felt like, and it felt exactly like snow. Frozen water is the same everywhere, all the time.
The darkness says that the dark is different everywhere, that the darkness under the ice is different from the darkness in an alley, or the darkness in a storage room of a grocery store, or the darkness in a small wood far from anywhere in the middle of the night. It says that the darkness tastes the best when it hides in the light, when it is a small shadow of a cheap lamp on a white plastic shelf in the home goods section of a department store.
I ask it how it can taste itself. 
It skates across my nose, and I realize that there is a thin transparent nothingness between me and the snow and the pale rainbow and the dark gray cloudy sky.
high resolution →

Sometimes the darkness and I go ice-skating.

There are faces under the ice. They are pressed up against it, their noses flattened, their cheeks red. I think they are laughing. I hope so.

The darkness says that they are screaming, but I don’t care. I say they are laughing, that they are happy and warm and having fun. They like the feel of our skates on their noses. 

I wish I was warm. 

The darkness offers to skate on my nose, but I turn it down.

I wonder where the faces go when the ice melts. Maybe they go to other parts of the world where there is still ice, and they hang out under small ponds there. I wonder if the ice in other places feels different. 

Probably not. Once I touched a pile of snow on a warm day to see what it felt like, and it felt exactly like snow. Frozen water is the same everywhere, all the time.

The darkness says that the dark is different everywhere, that the darkness under the ice is different from the darkness in an alley, or the darkness in a storage room of a grocery store, or the darkness in a small wood far from anywhere in the middle of the night. It says that the darkness tastes the best when it hides in the light, when it is a small shadow of a cheap lamp on a white plastic shelf in the home goods section of a department store.

I ask it how it can taste itself. 

It skates across my nose, and I realize that there is a thin transparent nothingness between me and the snow and the pale rainbow and the dark gray cloudy sky.

» time 15 hours ago   » notes 33
surreal darkness  simblr  sims 3  ts3 story  sims 3 story  
My little mosaic about me. :) The idea is to answer the questions and then go find pics based on your answer. I&#8217;m posting it because I have been thinking today of how my name means resurrection and how so many times in my life I have been burned to ashes and then I come back stronger.
Also I am currently listening to the Travis Tritt song I'm Gonna Be Somebody, the source for the bit about breaking the chains, and that song has always reduced me to slobbering goo ever since I was a kid.
First Name:  Stacy (resurrection)Currently reading: Pedagogy of the Oppressed, by Paulo FreireWhat is your favourite quote?"Today has just been turned to a bad day. For me that is. Because Mrs. Greene put a starter on the board for us. I just hate it when people make me write stuff. I like to impress my very own real fellings. I&#8217;m thinking about being a true story writer.&#8221;- me, age 8, in my second grade journal. And yes, it&#8217;s verbatim.What is your favorite book? Jane Eyre, by Charlotte BronteFavorite Color: greenOne of the things I love most in the world: freedomWho is your favorite author? Edgar Allan PoeWho is your favorite character in fiction? The Joker, from The Dark KnightOne Word That Describes Me: fiery If you had one wish: One day I&#8217;m going to break these chains.Favorite Drink: sweet teaWhich book has had the greatest impact on you (eg moved/disturbed/thrilled/made you cry)? My Bondage and My Freedom, by Frederick Douglass
high resolution →

My little mosaic about me. :) The idea is to answer the questions and then go find pics based on your answer. I’m posting it because I have been thinking today of how my name means resurrection and how so many times in my life I have been burned to ashes and then I come back stronger.

Also I am currently listening to the Travis Tritt song I'm Gonna Be Somebody, the source for the bit about breaking the chains, and that song has always reduced me to slobbering goo ever since I was a kid.

First Name:  Stacy (resurrection)

Currently reading: Pedagogy of the Oppressed, by Paulo Freire

What is your favourite quote?

"Today has just been turned to a bad day. For me that is. Because Mrs. Greene put a starter on the board for us. I just hate it when people make me write stuff. I like to impress my very own real fellings. I’m thinking about being a true story writer.”

- me, age 8, in my second grade journal. And yes, it’s verbatim.

What is your favorite book? Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Bronte

Favorite Color: green

One of the things I love most in the world: freedom

Who is your favorite author? Edgar Allan Poe

Who is your favorite character in fiction? The Joker, from The Dark Knight

One Word That Describes Me: fiery 

If you had one wish: One day I’m going to break these chains.

Favorite Drink: sweet tea

Which book has had the greatest impact on you (eg moved/disturbed/thrilled/made you cry)? 

My Bondage and My Freedom, by Frederick Douglass

» time 17 hours ago   » notes 6
non-sims  saviorhide  

Pyro Seth Replies!

quill-of-thoth replied to your post: This amuses me. And, of course, right …

Pyro Seth is Pyro.

roseoftheoakmoonsims replied to your post: This amuses me. And, of course, right …

Oh, Seth. You strange, wonderful little man.

I write him the way he is in the game. :) And yeah, I think he is strange and wonderful too. 

awwnooboo replied to your post: This amuses me. And, of course, right …

I did such a loud hoot of laughter that I think I’ve woken the baby up.

Yay that makes me all smile-y and happy! Well - I hope the baby doesn’t mind too much though.

This amuses me.

And, of course, right afterwards…

» time 19 hours ago   » notes 31
simblr  sims 3  ts3  

Replies of drama and intrigue!

melanijann replied to your post: I’ve seen references to drama on my da…

Yeah, I always hear people talking about drama, and never have any idea what’s going on because I don’t follow those kinds of people. Not worth it.

Same here. Of course, I didn’t follow them even back when they involved me in their drama. Which that was kind of disconcerting, that there could be all this drama about me that I wasn’t even there for and I was only aware of through obvious Friday night upticks on my stats pages. 

pixelhart replied to your post: I’ve seen references to drama on my da…

This is so true. I’m really afraid that I’ll have to deal with this kind of stuff again. My ex was a narcissist and that relationship and the after math left me terrified. I’m not in any kind of contact with him anymore, thank God.

Good, I’m glad you went no contact. *hugs* It really really sucks, but for me it’s been a way to learn and heal old childhood wounds as well as those wounds, and I’m way more healthier now than I was even before all the mess. And hey - we know what red flags to look out for now!

For me, well - I think Simsecret is rife with them, but one in particular managed to convince me that he was my best friend in the Sims community. While, of course, doing the whole trashing my reputation and turning everyone against me thing that they like to do, with the aid of the emotional outbursts that he manipulated me into, and of course he did a number on my self-esteem.

Eh - I’ve got good friends now, and a narcissist smear campaign is a great way to find out who your friends actually are.

It used to hurt when I would try to approach new people and they’d turn a cold shoulder on me and be all weird, and I didn’t know what was going on except that it probably had something to do with all the stuff at Simsecret. I took it really personally, but eventually I realized that people who would believe gossip and rumors and lies and dismiss me based on them before even giving me a chance aren’t worth being friends with anyway.

» time 19 hours ago   » notes 3
melanijann  non-sims  pixelhart  text  replies  saviorhide  

I’ve seen references to drama on my dash this morning

Not the actual drama though, because I am damn careful about who I follow and extremely quick with the unfollow button if needed, after what I’ve been through.

I’ve had to learn a lot of things the really hard way, and one is that the Sims community has its fair share of manipulators, controllers, and narcissists. It’s impossible to make them happy, they will always try to bring you down, and they will always be up in everyone else’s business criticizing the hell out of everyone else over the smallest of things. And I didn’t know about them before the Sims, because I didn’t grow up around narcissists. So I was all innocent, and I tried to understand them. I took the blame on myself, and I thought they were right about me, and I tried to figure out what I was doing wrong, how I could get them to accept me.

The truth is that they will never accept anyone, nor will they ever understand the harm they cause to others or feel any remorse about it, and all that stressing and worrying and trying to please them got me was an ulcer that hemorrhaged and nearly killed me.

Block and blacklist the controllers, turn anonymous messaging off, and let them go stew in their own hate juices on Simsecret. But I wouldn’t recommend going to watch them stew. Deprive them of an audience of complicit enabling bystanders.

They won’t get tired of their drama, and I’m not saying that their victims should be meek and quiet and just ignore them. I’m just saying that they’re not worth the effort and you’re not going to get anywhere trying to reform either them or yourself, and that after years of being stalked and hated and criticized and bullied to the point where eventually even the Simsecret moderators said enough and secrets about me aren’t allowed anymore, what I’ve learned is that the best way to deal with them seems to be putting up deep and wide and tall boundaries, and sticking like hell to those boundaries. Their stuff is their stuff, their drama is their drama, and it does not have anything to do with you. You just happened to be in the right place to be their target for the moment.

If anyone out there is hurting, if anyone out there is being targeted and doesn’t know what to do, please please talk to me. I don’t have anonymous messaging turned on, because of these things, but I promise I don’t bite and I will be nice and I will reply in private and not in public. I have been there. I have been there, I know what it’s like, and it almost killed me. But I survived, and I learned, and I am here for anyone who needs support.

» time 1 day ago   » notes 15
text  non-sims  saviorhide  
you don&#8217;t know how it feels
no, you don&#8217;t know how it feels
to be me
high resolution →

you don’t know how it feels

no, you don’t know how it feels

to be me

now that that don’t kill me

can only make me stronger

» time 1 day ago   » notes 9
text  non-sims  saviorhide  
We went to the bookstore tonight to get presents for people. 
I flipped through the books. 
And now I feel like Seth in this pic. 
It&#8217;s clear that Moonfall is still on hiatus. I still can&#8217;t muster up the motivation to load the game and pose and take the pics. And it&#8217;s definitely the pics that are the problem.
But I am really getting into Surreal Darkness, and I&#8217;m going to focus on it and work at it, and it&#8217;s my new pet project. And hey, it&#8217;s just using old scenery pics, and if I need new ones all I have to do is go take them, no Sims involved. 
Besides, who else can take random Sims scenery shots and make a whole story out of them, a lyrical existential poem of a story? 
Who else can carry my power?
high resolution →

We went to the bookstore tonight to get presents for people. 

I flipped through the books. 

And now I feel like Seth in this pic. 

It’s clear that Moonfall is still on hiatus. I still can’t muster up the motivation to load the game and pose and take the pics. And it’s definitely the pics that are the problem.

But I am really getting into Surreal Darkness, and I’m going to focus on it and work at it, and it’s my new pet project. And hey, it’s just using old scenery pics, and if I need new ones all I have to do is go take them, no Sims involved. 

Besides, who else can take random Sims scenery shots and make a whole story out of them, a lyrical existential poem of a story? 

Who else can carry my power?

» time 1 day ago   » notes 17
simblr  sims 3  ts3  

Just now

Me: Today I was thinking of all the cute things you say and do. You are all cute and I like you a lot! But we’re two separate people, and that bothers me.

Spousal person: *laughs*

Me: No but like I want to know what it’s like in your brain, but I can’t!

Spousal person: That tends to be the way of things.

Me: Do you want to know what it’s like in my brain?

Spousal person: Kind of.

Me: Kind of?

Spousal person: Well, I kind of already know a lot of it because you constantly liveblog it into my ear.

» time 1 day ago   » notes 16
text  non-sims  the spousal person  saviorhide  

Shot from Nightmare, the first Valley chapter where I really started to play with editing the pictures, and one of my favorite shots from the last year.

Ah, GIMP. How far we have come together in almost five years.

» time 1 day ago   » notes 27
simblr  sims 3  ts3  gimp skillz  
One time Seth caught a tragic clownfish.
How apropos.
And yes, this is from my early days with GIMP. ;)

One time Seth caught a tragic clownfish.

How apropos.

And yes, this is from my early days with GIMP. ;)

» time 1 day ago   » notes 22
simblr  sims 3  ts3  
» time 1 day ago   » notes 24
simblr  sims 3  ts3  

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